Fantasy?
by RenkonNairu
Summary: A collection of one-shots devoted to the ridiculousness of the Shifu/Tigress pairing. Parody of other Shifu/Tigress stories.
1. Fantasy?

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: Don't own Kung Fu or related characters.

(A/N: This is as close to a Tigress/Shifu romance, as I will ever go. Mostly I just wrote this to see what corset-rebellion-follower would say… I may delete it later if I decide I don't like it…)

Fantasy…

Tigress purred as Shifu massaged the tension out of her tired and sore muscles. These few moments alone together were paradise, were Nirvana on earth for the tiger master.

"We're so lucky to have each other." She sighed as the red panda shifted his attention from her neck to her shoulder blades. "How did this happen, anyway?"

"I…" The diminutive martial arts master paused. "I, uh… I don't remember."

She rolled over onto her back to look him in the eyes.

"No, really, how did we get together?" She sat up, suddenly pensive. "It's hard to imagine it happening. That two characters such as us would cross the line of teacher and student so blatantly."

"It does strain the bounds of fantasy…" Shifu admitted. Then he shrugged it of as nothing, they were together and that was all that mattered.

'…_fantasy?'_ Thought Tigress. _'That's it!'_

"It's the only explanation!" She stood.

"What is?" The red panda was getting annoyed; he wanted her to lay back down so he could run his paws through her fur some more.

"We're just objects in some transient fantasy." Explained the tiger master. "We'll be gone when it ends!"

"We'll louse each other…?" Shifu didn't want that to happen.

"Well if this is all just going to disappear then there's one thing I'm going to do before it ends!"

"What's tha-" His question was cut off by Tigress suddenly pouncing on him and pressing her lips against his. The red panda's moment of shock was short lived, however, as he deepened the kiss and relaxed his body beneath her's.

…

….

…

Tigress was so disturbed that she shocked herself awake. Her and Master Shifu? Her? And Master Shifu? Shifu and her? That was just… just… He was old enough to be her Grandfather! Never. Never again would she eat Po's cooking before bed. It was a bad idea to humor the Dragon Warrior and try his Secret Ingredient Soup. 'Secret Ingredient' indeed!


	2. Stepmother?

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer:

LSD

Tai Lung awoke feeling thoroughly conflicted. It had been miraculous to survive the Wuxi finger hold, even more so to be accepted back at the Jade Palace, to have Master Shifu allow the feline felon to call him "Baba" instead of "Master". So why then, did the sulky snow cat feel so torn?

The door to his bedroom opened and master Shifu's new wife, his stepmother so to speak entered.

"Planning to sleep in and skip breakfast with the family again?" The tiger master asked her stepson. "You know Shifu will only accept the excuse of recuperating from the Wuxi finger hold for so long."

Yes. Master Shifu, shortly after the final climactic battle, had married his favorite student and the leader of the Furious Five: Master Tigress. That was not the thing that tore at his insides, however. No. What made him agonize over his current state of living was the fact that he was in love with his father's wife. It was like the plot of a bad hentai (minus the tentacles, of course).

"Tigress let the boy be."

Tai Lung glared at his adopted father when he entered the room. "Boy"? He was 38 almost 40! How dare he call him "boy"! Who was he to address Tai Lung so demeaningly when he himself was married to a woman young enough to be the snow leopard's daughter!

"If he wants to sulk over lousing one little fight, then let him." Master Shifu went on. "It's better than having him go rampaging through the Valley again."

"I suppose you're right." She smiled and bent down, bent down very far, to kiss her vertically challenged husband on the lips.

The red panda like wise reached his hands up to cup her sienna and blacked stripped face in his hands and return the kiss ten fold.

Tai Lung turned his head in disgust. It was bad enough to love her from a distance, knowing that she was his father's wife. But for them to rub it in his face like this is was just too much!

….

……

…..

The first thing the malicious malefactor of a snow leopard did when he woke up was roll over and vomit. Whether it was because of the dream he'd just had of the fact that he should be dead right now after having the Wuxi finger hold preformed on him, Tai Lung didn't know. Frankly, he didn't care. He was in so much pain write now, he wished he _were_ dead.

Damn finger hold! Damn panda! Damn everything!

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

(A/N: I hadn't planed to continue this past a one-shot, but it's rather fun mocking the Shifu/Tigress pairing. Though, I'm afraid many of you got the wrong idea. I must apologize: I never meant to offend any one that supports the S/T pairing, I was just poking fun. Please tell me if I poke to hard. Any way, I just had to Tai Lung in this chapter 'cause I love him so! And a big thank you goes out to corset-rebellion-follower for adding me to her C2 community. Thanks Girl! I'm glad you took the joke. :heart:

To anyone waiting on "Don't Mix Stripes and Spots" or "Daddy Angst", they will be up-dated soon. I just need to get this… this… um… idea out of my system.)


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